Dating and Religion (or the lack thereof)

Most of my writing lately has been very personal and maybe a little controversial so I’ve kept everything in my journal under wraps. However, I decided to share this piece. I feel like I’m putting myself out there naked by sharing this but somehow I don’t think I’m the only one who feels this way.

Dating and Religion (or the lack thereof)

Dating is hard. In this religion obsessed world we live in, it’s frustrating to be authentic when everyone expects you to be normal. Everyone talks about wanting people to just be themselves but I’ve come to the conclusion that they really don’t. The message I keep getting is “why don’t you just try to be normal?” How is that being myself when “normal” means being like everyone else? I’m not asking everyone else to be like me. I do not want to convert anyone. Just accept me for who I am.

The question of religion always comes up:

Question: Do you go to church?
Answer: No

Q: Why don’t you go to church?
A: I don’t believe in religion.

Statement: I’m looking for a God fearing woman.
Me: Why should I fear God?

Q: Why don’t you fear God?
A: I respect the Universe and the natural world.

Q: Don’t you believe in God?
A: I don’t believe there is any one man, woman or thing that is omnipotent. I believe we should take care of the universe and each other to allow the natural order of things to continue. You do not have to believe what I believe.

Q: Do you believe in heaven and hell?
A: No, I don’t. We all carry good and evil inside of us and choose to follow one or the other.

I once had someone say to me. “Can’t you just go to church even though you don’t believe?”
Me: No, I won’t go to church just because. I’m not a hypocrite. I want to be true to myself.

My response: You go to church and you don’t live by the teaching of your church.
Their reply: I ask for forgiveness. So aren’t the most important questions; What kind of person I am?  How do I treat others? Am I kind etc., etc.,?

I grew up christian but I’ve changed my mindset and I’m finding it difficult to stay in a relationship where my point of view is dismissed or trivialized as a passing fancy. I will hold out for understanding or continue this life journey solo. I’ve had my share of relationships some good, some bad, some indifferent. I’ve learned enough from them to know “to thine own self be true.” I’m not trying to debate anyone nor change anyone’s mind about what they believe. However, I will not go along with the status quo just to say I’m in a relationship and half of a couple.

4 thoughts on “Dating and Religion (or the lack thereof)

  1. Blessings……
    Yeah dating is challenging and that’s putting it nicely. It’s very different from where am from (Trinidad & Tobago).

    You have to be true to yourself and be you, otherwise you will be setting yourself up if you are inauthentic especially when you are dating. Who you date need to see you, understand you and make an informed decision as to if they want to proceed otherwise its a waste of time and a good predictor for being hurt.

    “Normal” is what you are, whatever that is, whomever that is, you are perfect the way you are. You cannot, should not conform to someone else’s ideal, it will not sync with your make up simply because it is not how you function.

    Just because you do not ascribe to “religion” does not mean you do not believe in a higher power. It is what it is, you believe what you believe, your life, your journey, your path, your governance.


  2. “Normal” is what you are, whatever that is, whomever that is, you are perfect the way you are. You cannot, should not conform to someone else’s ideal, it will not sync with your make up simply because it is not how you function.

    My sentiments exactly. Thanks for reading.

  3. I feel like either way we will feel like outsiders because when I was atheist/agnostic I felt very alone and like I didn’t have anyone to talk to about it and now that I associate more as Christian, it feels the same way.

    But I definitely believe in being true to myself. I think the term “equally yoked,” can transcend it’s religious connotation. I want to date someone of the same mind as me.

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